Teen Relationship with Parents: “You don’t understand me!!”

“There’s no point in talking to you: you don’t understand me. You don’t even know me!!”

Does the above sound familiar?  Do you just feel that your parents are always on your case about everything and they just don’t get you?  Well, this is common for most teens across the globe.

Parent-teen relationships are among the most important relationships in a youngster’s life.  The structure and stability of a healthy relationship with your parents can have a positive influence on your stressful adolescent life.

Adolescence is a time when parental control over teenagers starts to weaken.  Parent anxiety levels rise and teens start to develop their own identity.  As you develop, you begin to have your own opinions and ideas.  Parents are not ready to handle this yet.  It is a big shock for them to see a whole new person grow out of the child you once were.  It’s normal for parents to disagree about your decisions and attitudes.  Teens get angry because they feel that their newfound individuality is being challenged by their over-protective and domineering parents.  Communicating with your parents can serve a vital purpose.  Although, you may feel they don’t get you – meeting them half way and trying to let them in on your thoughts and emotions can result in positive bonding.    

Here are some ways to find common ground in the battlefield with your parents:

4 Spend time together.  Instead of constantly being on your phone or watching TV, do activities where your mom and dad can join you.  Take an afternoon walk together or play a board game.  If your parents are divorced, make the most of the time you do spend together.

4 Share your feelings and ask for help.  You’ll be surprised by the great advice they have for you.  Your parents love you.  Even though some of the information might be distressing, it will not make them love you less.

4 Be kind and put in some effort.  Little things can brighten a parent’s day such as a hug.  Do a little extra around the house.  Fold the laundry or clean up your room.  Show love and care by respecting your parents, be polite and thoughtful.

4 Stick to the rules.  More often than not, your parents are trying to protect you.  They will most likely object to risky behavior and harmful choices, like the use of drugs or alcohol.  Negotiate on curfews and acceptable behaviour at parties.  Obey the rules and find yourself at peace with mom and dad.

4  Always do your best.  You don’t have to be 100% perfect.  Your parents will be proud of you as long as you try your utmost best.

Most importantly, this will make your life much easier.  • Compiled by: Samantha Feris

July 2017
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